they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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