Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
