You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
