I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
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Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
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If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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