Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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