margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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