I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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