Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
