i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
