Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
