I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
