everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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