Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
