No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
