Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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