Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
