Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
