dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
