i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
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you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
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because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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