I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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