Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Drake has all the answers
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
