I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
