I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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