i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
