Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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