so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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