After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
