He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
