At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
