there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
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Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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