You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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