So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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