We won't sleep together?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Randomize
