she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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