so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize