dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
it's great music for shaving your balls
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
