I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
