Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
