Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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