Don't make out with my wife yet
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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