Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
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they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
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He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
FUCK WHALES
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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