"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
