Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
