I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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