i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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