i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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