Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
