the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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