We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
