i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
