A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
