He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
