well I can't set my house on fire every night
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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