i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
