I saw his package. It spoke to me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize