No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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