I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
