I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
