the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
