my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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