i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
