Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
