you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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