she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
