He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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