I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
